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February 1997

A VALENTINE MESSAGE: Dangerous Love Affairs

February 14 is Valentine Day, a very special day, when every husband, fiance, and boy friend tries to express how much his sweetheart really means to him. They aren't required to, but if they do it, they will find it well worth the effort. Every woman on earth earnestly desires to hear their special person express his love for her. If any man has not learned this yet, his knowledge in social communication is sorely lacking.

Whenever we speak of love in the English language, our vocabulary is very limited. We use the same word for many purposes. "I love you. I love school. I love swimming. I love candy." The only way we can tell clearly just what the word means, is by the surrounding context. The Greek language, from which the New Testament is translated is much more definitive however. There are three words for love in the Greek language.

The first is "Eros," from which we get the word "erotic." means a fleshly, two way type of love. One might call it a reciprocal love; ( I'll love you if you'll love me.) It is a selfish, self-seeking type of love.

The second word for love is "Agape." It represents the highest form of love; divine love. Agape is a one way love, the kind that was defined in Ephesians 2:1-6 concerning Christ's love for us undeserving sinners.

The third word for love in the Greek is "Phileo," from which we get the word, Philadelphia, "The city of brotherly love." It represents the natural human affection and strong sentimental feelings that most people experience in "puppy love."

In John 21:15-18 we see a beautiful contrast of these last two words. In these verses, Jesus asks Peter, "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest (agapos) thou me?" two times. Each time Peter, who had already denied Jesus three times, was more cautious in his answer. His response was, "Yea Lord; thou knowest that I love (philo) thee. His answer actually was, "Yes Lord, you know I have affection for thee." In verse 17, Jesus condescended to Peter's response and said, "Simon, son of Jonas, Lovest (Philo) thou me?" To which Peter responded, "Lord, thouknowest all things; thou knowest that I love (philo) thee."

Proper love is agapos love toward God and man. Proper love is unselfishly giving our lives for our loved ones as Christ did for his Church. Proper love is greater than faith and hope. In fact, Paul the apostle said that love, (charity) was the greatest of all. (I Corinthians 13:13)

I wanted to clarify PROPER LOVE so I could contrast it with DANGEROUS LOVE AFFAIRS. Dangerous love affairs are the end result of misplaced affections. Solomon described this type of affair in the physical realm in Proverbs 5, concerning a man with a "strange woman."

I want to describe to you, not dangerous physical affairs, but dangerous spiritual affairs, which are much more dangerous. Let me name six dangerous love affairs from God's word.

1. The first dangerous love affair is Love of Self.

II Timothy 3:2-4 "Men shall be lovers of their own selves."

In Luke 18:10-14 we read of the Pharisee who loved himself. He prayed, "God, I thank thee that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess." Someone once said, "anyone wrapped up in himself constitutes a small package indeed." We must be very careful to remember our own unworthiness outside of the righteousness of Christ and acknowledge as we look at the Publicans of this world that, there go I but for the grace of God.

2. The second dangerous love affair is the Love Of Money:

I Timothy 6:10,11 "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows . But thou O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness."

Please note first of all that the verse does not say that money is the root of all evil, but the love of money. There is a great difference there. A person with two dollars in his pocket can be just as covetous as a multi millionaire. It is not the amount, but the attitude. The word "erred" in verse 10, means to be seduced, deceived, led away from. When a man ceases to trust in the Lord with all his heart, and begins to trust in the dollar, he has been deceived. Biblical examples of this are many. One is Achan, in Joshua 7. By being deceived into thinking he could get ahead by disobeying Joshua and stealing some silver, and Babylonian garments out of Jericho, he lost his family and his life. In Matthew 19:16-22, we read of the Rich young ruler who was not willing to sell all that he had and give to the poor, to follow Jesus. He went away a spiritual pauper, deceived into thinking he had to have his riches. In Mark 8:36,37 Jesus said, "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? In Luke 12:15-20, the rich fool spoke of "my barns, my fruits, and my goods." In response to this our Lord Jesus said, vs.15, "Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth." After the rich fool said his piece, God spoke up. In verse 20, God said,"Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be which thou hast provided?" Jesus himself concluded this story in verse 31 by saying, "But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you." May I encourage you to diligently search your heart to see if you love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength, or money. The love of money is a very dangerous love affair.

3. The third dangerous love affair is the Praise Of Men:

In Matthew 6:1-6 Jesus warns about how you give, how you pray,and how you fast. The Pharisees of Jesus' day loved to do these things in a very public way to receive the praise of men. In response to this Jesus said in verse 5, "They have their reward." In other words, they won't get a reward in heaven because they did it for the praise of men. Whenever we seek the approval or praise of men we are vulnerable to compromise convictions and biblical principles to achieve it. The fear of disapproval of men is a snare that will defeat you every time, Proverbs 29:25.

4. The forth dangerous love affair is A Love For The World:

Again, the Bible is full of examples of this love, and it's consequences. In Genesis 19:26, Lo t 's wife, having loved her city life in Sodom, disobeyed the angel's warning not to look back, and was destroyed. A whole new life was before her, but she chose the worldliness of Sodom for God's best.

In II Timothy 4:10 Paul speaks of Demas, a young man who had started out well with Paul and Barnabas on their missionary trips. The postscript of his work though is sad. Paul said,"Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world." In I John 2:15 John exposed the danger of loving the world by saying,"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." When the bible speaks of the world, it is referring to the world system; it's tastes, it's treasures, it's heros, it's standards, it's appetites, it's goals. We are living in such a compromising society today I really believe that if many professing Christians were arrested for their faith, upon close scrutiny of their lives, there wouldn't be enough evidence to convict them. May our God deliver us from a dangerous love affair with the world.

5. The fifth dangerous love affair is a Love Of Pleasure:

In II Timothy 3:1-4, Paul said: "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, LOVERS OF PLEASURES more than lovers of God; In Mark 4:3-7 & 18,19 Jesus told of the sower and the types of soil. In verse 7, he spoke of the seed falling among thorns. In verse 18, he gave of the interpretation of verse 7. "And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word, and the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word and it becometh unfruitful." In Luke 8:18 the words replacing "lusts," is "the Pleasures of this life." May I ask what pleasures of this life are choking out the Word of God and making it unfruitful in your life? May I ask you to consider very honestly the following questions? Which do you enjoy more, football or fellowship with other believers; the beach or the Bible; the movies or a gospel message; television or prayer; fishing for fish or fishing for men? You may feel that there is nothing wrong with these pleasures of life, but let me ask you, are they choking out the word of God and making you less fruitful than the Lord desires you to be?

6. The sixth dangerous love affair is Loving Your Own Life:

When I attended college and seminary the major themes I remember the need to die to your own desires and goals and be totally committed to will of God. I heard terms like "crucify the flesh; humble yourself before God ; let Jesus Christ be Lord of your life, and so on. I saw scores of very talented young people commit their lives to full time service for Christ. Many sold all their belongings and headed for the mission field. Today we hear, "realize yourself; gain self-esteem; assert yourself, you are someone," and so on. The result is that many young people today do not comprehend what it means totally commit their all to the Lord. In Revelation 12:11 it tells us how to experience the utmost for His highest. "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they LOVED NOT THEIR LIVES UNTO THE DEATH." Jesus said, in Luke 14:26, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be mydisciple." Again in verse 33 He said, "So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple." These are very serious demands, but that is God's standard yesterday, today and forever. Not only are they serious, but they are dangerous. John the Baptist lost his head because he loved not his life unto death. Stephen in Acts 7, lost his life because of his bold witness for Jesus Christ. Paul the apostle loved not his life unto death. In II Timothy 4:6-8, he said; "For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord the righteous judge, shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing." Nate Saint, a martyred missionary to South America, said, "That man is no fool who gives away that which he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose." Jesus said it this way in Luke 9:23,24: "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it."

Are you involved in any of these dangerous love affairs? As valentine day reminds us of expressing our love to others, I trust that this year it might cause you to shed yourself of any of the above destructive affairs, and rededicate yourself to loving the Lord your God, "With allyour heart, with all your mind and with all your strength." AMEN